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The Art of Self Love

A little inspiration and practical advice regarding the most important and meaningful love of your life…

YOU.

Loving yourself can seem like a vague idea, indulgent or even unnecessary. But it’s vital. Putting self love into practice and creating habits that fill you up is key to a fulfilled life. Daily self love will make you a better human, mother, wife, photographer… a better you.

It’s like going to the gym. (I think. I don’t go to the gym, so I don’t really know.)

I’m fortunate enough to have photographed amazing women who have become friends – mothers, entrepreneurs, single ladies, working ladies… all loving, nurturing, evolved humans who value the art of self love.

Today, I’m bringing you their BEST practical advice – 14 voices for the 14th of February – simple powerful ways to practice putting some loving on yo’ self!

Kate Northrup
KateNorthrup.com

I Jedi mind trick myself into taking time for myself because I know other people will benefit. So I get the self love, ultimately, and everyone else gets a better me too!

Alejandra Ramos
Food and Lifestyle Expert, AlwaysOrderDessert.com

When it comes to self love, I admit that there are days when it is easier than others. I think that’s true for all of us—we all have days when we’re just feeling amazing and totally on point, and then others when nothing seems to be right. It’s those trickier days when it’s even more important to treat yourself with love and kindness. I have a few little reminders that get me through those days.

1. I try to never say anything to myself that I wouldn’t say out loud to a friend. For example, I’d never say to a friend “ugh you’re such an idiot” or “your thighs look gross in those shorts,” so why on earth would I ever say something so horrible to myself? Our minds our powerful and we believe what we hear over and over again—whether it’s coming from an outside source or from our own thoughts. So many of us are so mean to ourselves in our head—a big part of self love is recognizing that, and taking steps to delete those ugly messages from our minds. It might seem impossible, but like anything else it’s just about building the habit.

2. I never deny myself an opportunity out of fear. Fear is an incredibly powerful force that robs us of the ability to live life fully. If I ever feel like I’m stopping myself from pursuing something, I check in and make sure I’m not doing it because of fear. Note that I don’t mean totally rational fear like the kind that protects us from danger, but the silly kind that keeps you from trying out for an opportunity at work, asking out a guy because you’re afraid of getting rejected, or wearing a bikini on the beach because you’re afraid of what people will say. That kind of fear serves no real purpose and to give it too much control is essentially a lack of trust in yourself and your abilities.

3. I don’t apologize for the things I love. I think there is way too much guilt in our society—we feel guilty about the food we eat, the things that turn us on, what we read or watch on TV, about taking vacations or even sick days, the list goes on. How many times have you called your favorite show “a guilty pleasure,” apologized for preferring something a certain way, or denied yourself a treat? Stop it—that’s nonsense. Part of self love is accepting that everyone deserves to enjoy things, and that those things are unique to every individual. I’m not saying it’s cool for you to sleep with your friend’s husband. (It’s not. Don’t do that.) But there is no need to feel bad about all the wonderful little things that bring you joy in life.

christa_meola_personal_branding_photography_001 Rachel Rodgers
Business Coach & IP Lawyer, RodgersCollective.com

I think it’s important to do things that make you feel powerful and remind you of your greatness regularly. That might be different for different people, but for me, going to the gym and running, plus lifting weights makes me feel bad ass. And while I do it, I often listen to music, like rap and Beyoncé, that has lyrics where the artist is talking about how amazing they are. And I sing along and speak those same words to myself. I do this several times per week, and it really does make me feel powerful.

The other self-care thing I am committed to is bath time. Whenever I am stressed, feeling uncertain, have too many outside opinions swirling around in my head, I take a hot bath. And while I am in there, I just feel the hot water, relax and let my mind wander. It’s so peaceful, and I am so disconnected that it’s almost a meditation. When I come out of the bath, I always have clarity on my next move. Literally every single time without fail.

So I think in both cases, whether I am at the gym or in the tub, I am meditating on my own power, my own greatness. I dream my dreams and reflect on all of the past dreams that have come true and recognize my power to make my current dreams my reality, too.

Aimee Raupp
Author & Acupuncturist, AimeeRaupp.com

Practice kindness and compassion towards you. Being easy on yourself is the best form of self love. The best way to do this is to begin to hear the conversation you have with yourself in the privacy of your own mind. Once you begin to hear what you’re saying – witness it and then ask yourself: Can I be more kind to me?

Jayne Jewell
Master Coach, JayneJewell.com

A few steps to self love:

One, every day even amidst chaos, take time for yourself – even 5 minutes to step aside do something small yet powerful for you: either list what you’re grateful for, get centered, or do affirmations… whatever it is for you.

Two, when creating your to do list – check it: are you on it? Most of us moms have “have to do’s” on our list that is about caring for others: our career, kids, husband, or the running the house. But do you show up on your to do list? Every week, make sure to do something just for you: either read a favorite book, have coffee with a friend, go to an exercise class – make it be just for you.

Three, look at the things you already do in life and give it new meaning. Something you do over and over again, but you don’t necessarily call it self love. For example, when I had my first born, my whole life revolved around the baby (of course, as it should) – I was exhausted all the time. But I took a bath every day no matter what. Even if it was just 10 minutes and sometimes with candles or a book. I looked at that and said: Whenever I take a bath, that means “I’m taking care of myself and giving myself love and I love myself.” Take something you’re already doing and give it the meaning that: “I take care of myself.” Every night that I read or do deep breathing, or every time I feed myself nutritious food. Something that you’re easily and effortlessly already doing – and make a declaration!

Lastly: This.

Erica Kramer McCabe
Studio Manager, Christa Meola Pictures

I let myself be ok with saying no to things that I don’t want to do and to not feel guilty for doing things that are just for me. Getting a massage or a pedicure is easy, but not feeling guilty that I took time just for me is the hard part. And I’m getting a lot better at it. Because if I feel guilty, then what’s the point?

Licia Morelli
Best-Selling Author, LiciaMorelli.com

Every week, I look at my schedule and set aside time for me – it can be one hour a day, every other day, or three times per week. I set the intention to take that time to do something that I want to do. It doesn’t have to cost money, but it feels indulgent, like read a book, go for a walk, or take a bath. It’s important that it’s not for anyone or anything else. So I’ll read a fiction book, not a workbook. I’ll take a walk alone, not with a friend.

And once a month, I make sure to have something scheduled like a massage or facial – again, something indulgent that’s just for me.

The most important piece is not to give. So if I’m going to a massage, I let them know that I’m not going to talk. The not giving at all is SO key. It’s a total game changer!

Mirna Jose (featured on right)
Make-up Artist, MirnaJose.com

Don’t apologize for who you are or how you are. Once you’ve accepted yourself, including your flaws, the rest of the world will have to accept them too. Own your individuality.

Danielle Diamond
Mind/Body Wellness Expert, XenStrength.com

My best advice is to let go of what isn’t worth stressing about, and ask myself if it’s going to matter in 5 or 10 years. And if it’s not, I don’t let myself stress about it. The size of my ass- is it going to matter? If my kids leave their soccer cleats in front of the door, again – is it going to matter? If the launch of my new program doesn’t hit the goals I set- is it going to matter?

When people think about self love they usually go right to things they need to do: eat better, exercise more, get a massage. What I noticed was that letting go of things brought me more joy and peace than any scented candle or spin class.

Natasha Lakos
Creative Director, Natasha on Instagram

I ask myself how would I treat or talk to myself as a little girl. Probably inspired by my 7 year old niece, Olivia. I wouldn’t talk to her or expect things of her the way I sometimes do of my grown up self.

Jolene Smith Garcia
High Performance Coach, JoleneSmithGarcia.com

What if your primary responsibility was to operate at MAX POTENCY–bringing as much focus, love, joy, and flow-state to every moment as you possibly can?

(Even while witnessing injustice in the world, and doing something meaningful to change it.)

What inputs would your unique body, mind, and spirit require in order to operate at max potency? More: Hours of sleep? Blocks of unstructured time for creativity? Gracious no’s instead of people-pleasing yes’s?

Which soul-filling relationships would you lavish with attention, and which would you clean up or limit? What kind of self-talk would you allow inside your brain?

I dare you to aim for max potency. We need your most amped up contribution. Stop holding out on us.

Michelle Martello
Digital Strategy for the Modern Entrepreneur, Minima Designs

Spend time with people who are excited about life and don’t talk down about themselves. It’s one thing to poke fun, but if you’re always criticizing yourself (and others) it can really drag you down. A person’s energy is contagious – and you only get so much time on this earth. Spend it wisely with people who want to spend it with you!

Richelle Zizian Fredson
Director of Publicity & Book Marketing, Hay House Inc.

Practicing self-love is exactly that–a practice. Some days it’s much easier than others. I try and remember to treat myself with the same compassion I treat others–especially when things get tough. I think we can be so much better at being kind to others, but we must be kind to ourselves too.

I’m a Leo, so luxury and treating myself are NOT hard things for me–but I try and work it into my schedule. Most recently I’ve started doing acupuncture–it’s my non-negotiable. I plan it during the work week, and I make myself get away from the office to do it. It can be hard when things are really jam-packed in my day, but I’m always grateful that I stepped away to do something for myself. Honoring my body and treating it well are my favorite ways to practice self-love.

Juliana Morris
Founder, Be Your Own (S)expert, DrJulianaMorris.com

In our busy lives and with so many competing interests pulling us in many directions, it can be hard to take care of ourselves. We can’t, however, thrive and show up as we want to in our lives if we don’t make taking care of ourselves a priority.

Mind
Have a routine of making your environment positive. Make a collage of positive images and dreams/goals that motivate you and inspire you. Place it by your bed or in your bathroom so you see it when you go to sleep and wake.

Body
Practice words of affirmations about your body. Focus on your favorite parts and send love to the areas that you make a habit of avoiding or criticizing. Thank your body for taking care of you and for supporting you.

Embrace masturbation and self pleasure. Vary your routine if you self pleasure regularly so it feels exciting and fun. Watch yourself masturbate or use a different rhythm and pressure point. Give yourself 20 uninterrupted minutes to explore your body and see where you find pleasure rise within you. If you don’t have a positive relationship with self pleasure, change that! Commit to giving yourself permission to give yourself pleasure, be patient with yourself as you begin to find new parts of your body, and remind yourself the goal is to find pleasure and not perform or ‘achieve’ an orgasm.

Soul
Make a playlist of music that fills your soul. Play it loudly. In the car, in your kitchen, in your bathroom. Keep adding to it. Call it a fun name and let yourself get lost in the mood of the music.

Find a daily devotional that speaks to your spiritual beliefs or inspiration points. Read it at the same time every morning. Make the routine sacred and no more than 5 minutes so you have no excuse to skip it. Light a candle or drink your favorite tea as you read it.

You are worth this self care time and the reconnection with your mind, body and soul will sustain you ten fold. Enjoy and prioritize you!

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Wishing you lots of (self) love,

Christa

Women’s March is More Than Just a Moment

Saturday, January 21st, 2017.

As photographers who specialize in photographing women, we often talk about our core mission of “empowering women.”

I wanted to walk the walk, so I went to the Women’s March in Washington D.C.

There was so much positivity, strength and sisterhood amongst the almost one million people that were there that day. Women, men, even kids – with such clarity of purpose.

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This energy has pulsed within me since.

Because the march was more than just a moment. It’s a movement.

If you’d like to get involved, simple daily actions can be found here, here and here.

Rise up. Lift your camera. Share your voice.

I’ll be right next to you.

xo, Christa

Simply Stunning Strobe Lighting

Here are three lighting set-ups from a personal branding shoot in Los Angeles with the brilliant and bad ass Justine Musk.

We shot this first set with 2 strobes, using a similar set-up I first demo’d in Gorgeous 2-Strobe Set-up.

The main light with octobox is raised above head level and just to my right. Back light directly opposite angled just slightly toward camera. Here’s a diagram of set up #1:

christa_meola_lighting_diagram_1

Then we switched to the seamless studio background (Dove Grey, my fav), keeping mostly the same lighting set-up above for the first shot below. Note that we simply inched the back light further out to my left here so that it created an edge light on the right side of her face, arm and body. Here it is SOOC…

Here’s a diagram of set up #2:

christa_meola_lighting_diagram

Now, did you ever want to create that hazy soft ethereal look?

Here’s how to do it: We added a third strobe. My assistant stood just a few feet to my left and slightly in front of me, holding a strobe pointed directly into my lens. Yes, it was slightly blinding to my eyes – ha! – but I really love the soft haze and color that resulted.

Here it is SOOC with only sharpening added…

My assistant played around varying the angle of the strobe to get more and less light into my lens, thus varying the color/light effects you see above.

Diagram of set up #3:

christa_meola_lighting_diagram_3

There ya go – easy, fun, beautiful lighting.

Flattering light doesn’t need to be complicated – try it out and have fun!

xo, Christa

Lighting diagrams created at sylights.com.

Sexing it up with Silver Reflector Boards

Ever since I first blogged this set-up 2+ years ago, I’ve been answering tons of Q’s about how I created this look.

You’ve asked consistently for a “simple go-to lighting scenario” and “what are those background reflectors you use?” – so I went ahead and made this tutorial for you.

Photographers who’ve attended my live workshop in NYC have seen this set up in action, and I’ve become known for it. (So much so that when Annie Leibovitz shot Caitlyn Jenner for Vanity Fair, I received several messages joking that she stole my look!)

But this look is easy and hardly revolutionary. I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last. In fact, you can use it on your next shoot.

Here’s why I love it:

√ I use this set up for everything from boudoir and nudes to personal branding and head shots.

√ It’s awesome to use when doing mini-sessions and marathons because it gives me confidence when I’m hustling to create variety within a single session.

√ No matter how cluttered a location is, this set-up provides a cool clean backdrop in a pinch.

√ And the lighting is universally flattering.

Take a peek at how I use it for boudoir…

For personal branding and entrepreneurs…

For headshots…

And for nudes…

Silver Reflector Boards Lighting Diagram

Tips on using
Walk around and try different angles to either incorporate reflections or totally eliminate them.
Have your model stand close to the reflector for sharper reflection, and ask her to step away from the reflectors for more blur.
Open and close the reflectors for different looks, move it around the studio and have some fun!

What to get
It’s called Bead Board 4′ x 8′ x 1″ or foam core reflector boards.
It comes in glossy, matte, and semi-matte. I got the semi-matte.
It comes in varying thickness. Get the thicker boards because you’ll need the sturdiness. It’s more money, but worth it.

Where to buy
I got mine at Set Shop in NYC. They deliver. But you can get them at most photo supply stores.

How to make
Lay the boards on the floor, silver side down, and tape the backs together with thick gaffer tape along the spine from top to bottom.

Violá!

Reflectors á la Meola.

Hope it’s helpful when you want a simple gorgeous lighting set up that clients will love.

xo, Christa

ps. Try it out, and please share your pics with me on social media. I’d love to see your success! If you have any Q’s, ask them via Instagram or by tweeting me @christameola.

Shades of Grey

Sunset hour at the studio is one of my favorite times of day, and I love keeping it simple…

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This woman chose to remain unretouched in all the photos above. #RealisBeautiful.

xo, Christa

ps. We show all clients their pictures without retouching, and it’s each woman’s choice whether to keep them that way.

Spotlight on: Michelle Martello

Michelle’s a triple threat, who’s everything a modern entrepreneur wants: a talented web designer, fierce digital strategist and brilliant coder. Most importantly, she’s someone you can trust, always tells it like it is, and goes many extra miles for you.

I should know – Michelle is finishing up the new ChristaMeola.com, launching this Fall.

As fiery as her hair color, Michelle is hilarious, the sexiest dancer you’ll ever want to meet and one of my dearest friends.

My husband and I love visiting Michelle and her husband in Richmond. You can expect house music and homemade cocktails; wine tasting and drag racing; hot seats and lots of hospitality.

Check out our interview below to hear more about Michelle and her latest exciting project.

I’m delighted to introduce you to (the completely unretouched) Michelle Martello…

christa_meola_personal_branding_photographer_nyc_01

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Michelle, give me 5 words to describe you.
Loyal. Strong. Creative. Independent. Witty.

What is your greatest gift?
I love looking at the bigger picture of someone’s business – envisioning years ahead and seeing what’s next. Staying ahead of the curve and getting my clients to the top of their game.

How do you keep inspired?
Constantly reading everything I can get my hands on. A slight Pinterest obsession. Running on my favorite forest trails. Frequent retreats to spaces where I can’t get wifi.

How do you walk your walk?
I strive to do everything with the utmost integrity. I refuse to put my name on anything I’m not proud of.

Can you tell us a favorite inspirational story of someone you’ve helped?
These days I’m most proud of my role as a mentor. I love supporting designers to find their voice, gain confidence and challenge themselves. I love when people I’ve mentored come back a year later to say our work together completely changed their lives – they’ve turned their business around and are working with amazing clients and projects.

What are you most excited about right now?
I am so passionate about helping business owners create their own online products and services . The online education sphere is a huge (and still vastly underserved) market. Creating your own product is a great way to get known, generate income and to share your knowledge with the world. That’s why I’ve created an all new guidebook, The Minima Guide to Getting Paid Online that covers everything you need to know about selling (and getting paid) online.

When do you feel your most beautiful?
In the ocean.

How do you feel about your body?
I fought my curves for a long time, and I’ve finally accepted that I’ll never be a stick. My goals have changed as I’ve aged. I’m more interested in staying strong and agile than fitting into a size 0. I want to be doing handstands when I’m 90 and not be worried about getting up the stairs. I want to try everything at least once. I’d love to learn parkour and run a spartan race.

What’s your favorite book?
Any kind of historical fiction or biography.

Favorite quote?
Well-behaved women seldom make history – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Favorite piece of art?
Art that makes you question everything. Currently I’m loving anything by the painter Kehinde Wiley, and Ai Weiwei blows my mind. Modern architecture and furniture design are my other great passions.

Favorite object in your home?
My beloved aussie shepherd rescue pup, Juno.

Favorite hangout?
My front porch. Endless entertainment from people watching!

Favorite beauty product?
Dr. Jart BB Cream. I’m so fair-skinned it’s hard to find any coverage that matches my complexion. This is quick to use, gives me a glow and protective all at once.

Favorite can’t-live-without item?
Wireless headphones. I need house music at all times!

What’s your #1 tip for fellow entrepreneurs?
Get connected! The best thing I ever did was get out of my comfort zone and start connecting with others online and in person. Go to events and conferences and meet your clients and contemporaries in person!

It’s too easy to hide behind our computers, and we forget that real people exist behind the personas. Get out there and talk to people. At the end of the day, we exist to support each other. I can’t tell you how many people have worked with me because other clients have referred me. They know that not only will I deliver, but they’ve also got someone who believes in them.

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I think her answer to when she feels the most beautiful is… well, beautiful.

Count yourself lucky if you get to work with or be mentored by Michelle, and you’ve hit the jackpot if you get invited over to her house for a dance party.

More Personal Branding portraits soon!

xo Christa

ps. #RealisBeautiful – Michelle opted to remain unretouched in all of the photographs above.

One Size Does Not Fit All

This shoot was a fun study in making it work!

A self-described “plus-sized lingerie boutique” sent us a few fun things to photograph. So we booked a model represented by a “plus-sized agency.”

But when our lovely model showed up for the shoot, she was smaller than me! Hahaa! My first reaction was to think Oh my goodness she’s not big enough. But I caught myself super quick and thought Who the heck is to say who is plus size, minus size, regular size, right size. She’s perfect.

So I hustled. I found this mannequin in a back closet of the studio, grabbed it and had some fun.

I also gave her my #realisbeautiful t-shirt. She is unretouched in all of these pictures.

The lingerie boutique and the model agency both have different ideas on what plus-sized is. We will, of course, have to book someone who actually fits the clothing we want to photograph.

In the meantime, I hope you find this story and pics inspirational.

When life surprises you, make meaningful photographs!

Love, Christa

ps. we just had a couple seats open up for our upcoming live workshop! Click here for more details and snag your spot.

The Perfect Accessory…

Coco Chanel and Jackie Kennedy (two brilliant icons of style) know that a classic accessory can be paired with anything – or nothing! – and never goes out of style…

“A woman needs ropes and ropes of pearls.” -Coco Chanel

christa_meola_photographer_new_york_boudoir_nude_98

Spotlight on: Laura Corn & Valentine’s Giveaways

My five-year blog anniversary is today, and we’re celebrating with playful pics, saucy tips, and hot giveaways! Just in time for Valentine’s Day…

I recently had the total pleasure of doing a photo shoot for Laura Corn, sex expert, radio personality and author of nine best-selling books on sex, love and intimacy. We were shooting for her latest venture, her new mobile app, 101 Nights – launching soon. I took this opportunity to interview her on her books, her best tips for feeling & getting sexy, and how she got interested in writing about sex in the first place…

What do you do?
I’m an author of nine best-selling books, and I help couples achieve deeper intimacy through the use of what I call ‘Secret Sealed Seductions.’ My book 101 Nights of Great Sex is loved by over one million couples around the world! I get tickled when I think about Gwenyth Paltrow and Britney Spears being fans.

What made you write your first book on sex?
I was lousy in bed. I wrote my first sex book because I hated sex. I couldn’t have an orgasm with a man! I couldn’t afford therapy so I went to the library & read (and studied) every sex book on the shelves for two years. I taught myself how to orgasm in the library (well maybe not right in the library) and then said, ‘Wow! I know a lot of stuff. I think I’ll write a book.’

What’s the central idea of your book, 101 Nights of Great Sex, and how is it different?
My books are unique because they are not books you read, they are books you do. There are 101 Secret Sealed Seductions in the book. Every page is sealed! There are 50 Secret Seductions written for his eyes only and 50 Secret Seductions written for her eyes only. There is also one very special seduction shared by both partners.

Here’s how you play:

Once a week, (or whenever you want to add a little spice to your relationship) you and your lover each pick a sealed page and tear it from the book. There’s no turning back now – and no peeking at your partner’s seduction. Just follow your secret instructions, and sometime during the week you’ll each be getting an erotic surprise. Talk about anticipation – you’ll both be on the edge of your seats.

Tell us a favorite inspirational story of someone who’s been helped using your book’s philosophy.
101 Nights of Great Sex has saved a lot of marriages. Its best stated by New York Times best-selling author Dr. Lisaa Rankin, “As an OB/GYN and blogger, 101 Nights is one of my most frequently recommended books. I prescribe it to patients suffering from decreased libido, recommend it to mentoring clients seeking more pleasure, and blog about it as a way to explore the true desires of your authentic self. Plus, (don’t tell my mother!) my own copy of 101 Nights is well loved, tattered, and torn up. My husband thanks you!”

Has anything changed over the years in regards to what people struggle with sex-wise?
For the most part, a low sex drive is really a low desire for the same old thing. Aside from any medical issues someone might have, the sense of excitement, surprise, and butterflies comes from trying new things. There have been so many surveys done on what keeps a long-term relationship exciting, and scientists have discovered that exploration and surprise thrill our sexuality.

You also have a new app now too right?
Yes, in addition to my books, I’m proud to say that 101 Nights the App is about to be released. This is a mobile App on Apple and Android, which will put the power of my book in the pockets of millions, through their phones.

What inspired you to create the 101 Nights app?
Your beautiful photography, Christa Meola! So seductive! I thought, ‘Damn I need to create a mobile app with your images and my seductions.’ Haha! Which we did! Yay.

Plus, as the world around me grew in technology, it seemed only natural that the ideas and techniques in my book would be a perfect fit for a mobile app. I had map apps on my phone, weather apps on my phone… why not my seduction app? 101 Nights is the world’s most seductive app for couples.

Tap. Tease. Seduce.

It’s a full seduction toolkit, that fits discreetly in the palm of your hand.

It’s really an exciting product.

Thank you Christa!

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What’re your best tips on re-igniting romance with a long-time partner?
Someone has to make a change. When romance and sex stop, its usually because both partners stop nurturing the relationship. Someone has to step up to the plate and get the playdates rolling. That’s why my interactive books are so helpful

How can you best treat your partner to a sexy evening?
Plan it, be intentional, and by all means, build up anticipation. Tell your partner, early in the week that you have a planned a sexy surprise for the two of you for Saturday Night. Keep your sweetie in the dark. Don’t give too much away but drop hints all week long. Every hint allows your partner to relax, and feel special. Your partner will enjoy allowing someone else doing all the work, and feeling truly treasured. Rarely do we get fun sexy surprises as adults.

What is the most essential thing to feeling sexy on the inside?
Believe in yourself. And by all means don’t lose your sense of humor. Laughing and being joyful is sexy at it’s best.

What’s your favorite trick to feel sexy fast?
I put on red lipstick & sky-high heels!

What’s your #1 tip for fellow entrepreneurs who want to write a book?
You have to be passionate about your subject. Passion will carry you far. A book takes a long time to write and even a longer time to publish and market. So if you don’t have passion you won’t go the distance.

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Thank you Laura! And even more gratitude for gifting us with these hot giveaways!

—-VALENTINE’S GIVEAWAYS—-

Giveaway No. 1
A dozen copies of Laura’s best-selling book, 101 Nights of Great Sex

I have a dozen copies of Laura Corn’s best-selling book 101 Nights of Great Sex! Who wants one? Follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Comment, and Tag a friend to enter. Winners will be chosen at random on Vday, and you can comment as many times as you want with a different friend tagged in each comment. You and your friend tagged will both win a signed copy!

“This is not just another sex book. 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex uses ‘secret sealed seductions’ with special instructions for a love task or favor that each partner tears out and completes for one another. Sounds simple but the anticipation and mystery makes even the smallest gestures pretty thrilling.” – Gwenyth Paltrow

Giveaway No. 2
His & Her’s Seductions

If you’re short on time, but still want to give big-time thrills on Vday, we’ve got you covered.
This Rated R giveaway is available for you to instantly download now at the links below.

Warning: Wildly adult content.
For HIS eyes only: Honeylingus & For HER eyes only: The Velvet Tongue

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lots of love,

Christa

The #1 Legal Mistake Photographers Make

Have you ever wished that you had a lawyer on speed dial?

(Me too.)

To help with all the confusing legal Q’s on contracts, usage, theft, entities, and coverage, such as:

What do I need to include in a contract?
What if a client hates her pictures and wants her money back?
What happens when someone steals my photos?
What’s the best biz entity for me? What if I’m not being paid yet?
What insurance coverage do I need?
What’s worth pursing action and not pursuing?
When do I know it’s time to get a lawyer and how do I find a good one?

Well, I’m excited to announce today’s guest blogger, Rachel Rodgers!

I recently did a shoot for Rachel and her law team. Rachel is a business lawyer, who runs a non-traditional law firm for innovative companies and entrepreneurs. She’s worked with photographer newbies as well as established pros, and has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, MSNBC, and many others.

Today, Rachel will give us critical info to avoid The #1 Mistake Photographers Make.

And on Thursday, Rachel and I will have a sit-down legal throw-down conversation packed with info on all things legal for photographers. She and I will cover all Ten Legal Mistakes Photographers Make (I’ve made them all) and How to Avoid Them, as well as answer all your burning legal Q’s. (More info at the end of this post.)

And now, over to Rachel…

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You are a powerhouse photographer either on your way to, or having already built, a sought-after photography business. Your clients love you, your work is rewarding and you’re loving life.

Unfortunately, there are lot of legal issues that affect a photographer’s business so its not all gumdrops and fairy tales. Taking care of your legal needs as a photographer can be really confusing and overwhelming. Its a lot more fun to just ignore it and hope for the best, right?

Um … no.

Creating a proper legal foundation may not be fun, but it’s what smart photographers do to make sure they don’t have to worry about things like time-consuming and costly contract disputes, unintentionally giving away their intellectual property, and paying way too much in taxes.

The good news is that taking care of the legal stuff does not have to be hard, expensive or incredibly time consuming. For example, you can protect yourself and your business from a whole host of legal issues simply by having a solid contract with every client. Which leads me to the number one legal mistake I see photographers making:

#1 Mistake:
Not having a solid contract (client service agreement) for each client.

This is an epidemic. A lot of business owners, not just photographers, do business without any contracts at all. Which is a terrible way to do business. Why? Because the whole purpose of a contract is to prevent disputes by making sure that all parties to the agreement understand exactly what is going to happen, what is going to be exchanged (services, products, cash), and what happens if things don’t go according to plan (cancellation terms).

How can you avoid making this critical mistake?

For photographers, because your intellectual property can be so easily stolen, its even more imperative that you have clear terms for how your photos can and cannot be used by your clients and clarify exactly what your clients are purchasing (are they purchasing all rights to the photos or just a license?), and you need to ensure that you have your client’s permission to use the photos for marketing and other business development purposes.

Necessary items to include in your contract:

How many calls/emails/meetings with you can the client expect?
How many photographs can the client expect to be shot, showed?
Will you provide hair and makeup stylists, wardrobe?
When and how will the photos be delivered?
When and how will the client pay you?
What happens if payment is late?
What is and is not included in the price (retouching, copyright)
What happens when a client fails to show up at their appointment?
What happens if a client doesn’t love her photos?

Customizing contracts to suit your business

Spend some time thinking about your policies, and then set them down in the client service agreement so that you are crystal clear on what happens in different situations, and the client is crystal clear on what she can expect.

If you have specific rules on set, list them. You might prohibit or allow alcohol (for adults), you may limit the number of guests, you will probably want rules about food or drinks and cell phones. This is also the time to let the client/model know what to bring, props, outfits, etc.

Special clauses for nude or boudoir photography

Photographing models in the nude or semi-nude requires some specific clauses in the contract (and often in the model release as well.)

Because of the sensitive nature of such a session, you will want to set forth policies that you are comfortable with and that will make your model comfortable. For example, many boudoir photographers limit who can be present during the shoot. It’s a good idea to mention that, as the photographer, you may need to reposition the model’s lingerie or touch her to get the pose right.

You’ll want to consider, and diplomatically set forth in the contract, what circumstances will wreck the deal. If the model shows up intoxicated, or is suffering from bad tanning or botched Botox treatments, you may not be able to get satisfactory images.

You’ll also want to make sure (require proof) that your model is 18 years of age or older. The laws that prohibit child exploitation vary from state to state, and are often enforced on the discretion of local law enforcement. Furthermore, persons under 18 are not legally able to sign a contract or a release.

Important boilerplate items to include

And don’t forget the boilerplate which is all of the legal language you see at the end of an agreement. It may seem really monotonous and irrelevant but it is incredibly important. If you ever have a problem that escalates into a full blown dispute, that boilerplate protects you and can save the day.

Boilerplate must-haves:

The Limitation on Liabilities clause prevents the parties to the agreement from suing each other for additional, extra, and over the top damages.

Recovery of Litigation Expenses (also known as the attorney’s fees clause which is easier to say but not nearly as impressive). The typical attorney’s fees clause allows the winning party of a lawsuit to recover their attorney’s fees and other costs incurred to bring the lawsuit to enforce the agreement.

No Guarantees clause states that the service provider (that’s you, pretty thing) cannot guarantee a particular outcome.

Transfer of Intellectual Property is mega important because it states how and under what circumstances the intellectual property is transferred from the service provider to the client.

Entire Agreement; Modifications; and Waiver. This clause states that what is written in the contract is the entire agreement between the parties. That means that emails, conversations, and other statements made between the parties are not a part of the agreement. This section also requires that any modifications to the agreement be done in writing.

When and how your client should sign the contract

Be sure to send your agreement to clients at the very beginning of your engagement using an electronic signature software like HelloSign. Electronic signatures are totally legit. This not only lets your clients stop procrastinating on signing your agreement, but also helps you stay more organized and on top of your contracts ensuring that you have a signed client service agreement for every client. And it gives scanners everywhere the right to gracefully bow out of this whole contract signing operation. They can retire with fax machines in Barbados or something.

The best protection you can arm your business with is having proper contracts in place between your photography business and your clients, with terms covering what rights to the photos the client is purchasing, the terms of the client’s license to the photos, cancellation clauses, payment terms and all that beautiful boilerplate that is sure to save your ass one day.

Because your photography deserves a great business backing it up – one that’s armed for whatever might pop up.

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Got more legal questions?

We’ve got you covered…

I’m hosting a no-holds barred conversation with Rachel that will be posted here on Thursday. We’ll chat about the Top 10 Legal Mistakes Photographers Make and How to Avoid Them. Plus, she’ll be answering all of your legal Q’s.

Join me and our special guest, Rachel Rodgers, for a fun convo and legal throw-down…

The Top 10 Legal Mistakes Photographers Make
& How to Avoid Them

Thursday, Feb 5th
No need to RSVP. If you’re on our list, we’ll send you a reminder.

Ask your legal Q here by leaving a comment by Tuesday evening, and Rachel will tackle it during our chat.

See ya here on Thursday!

Love,

Christa

ps. Rachel, overachiever that she is, not only took my questions and answered them for you, but she also did 1000% better and created an awesome guide specifically for YOU! Legal Nunchucks: For Photographers started out as a blog post for me and is now an info-packed 64-page guide with all you need to know and essential tools you need (contracts, templates, checklists) to avoid legal disasters, save money, and keep you and your clients happy. Plus you guys save $100 off until this Friday Feb 6th at midnight EST. Check it out.

Uncle Anthony & Me

Everyone has a crazy relative. That person that no one gets, that becomes ostracized. For my family, that was my Uncle Anthony.

My Uncle Anthony was my dad’s older brother, and he’d babysit us (my two brothers and me) when we were really young. We made up a nickname for him: The Boogan. Because he had a homeless look about him. He wore the exact same clothes all the time – dirty baggy pants way too big for him cinched up with a worn out belt and always the same plaid shirt.

But what really stood out was his hair. His hair was huge and a total mess. Like Einstein, but more homeless. It never looked brushed, despite him walking around with a black Ace comb in his pocket all the time. And he never really washed it.

During summers, Uncle Anthony would come down the shore to stay with us for a couple of weeks. First thing he’d do at the beginning of each visit, was offer us ten bucks to wash and cut his hair. Oooh, tough decision. My brothers never did it, but I always did. He’d hand me his black Ace comb, sit in the kitchen on the folding chair with a towel around his neck and a huge smile on his face.

Once the shampooing was over, I’d be grinning too, so happy to de-Boog-ify him. To give him this transformation.

Because underneath the Boogan was a really sweet man, playful and a child at heart. We played chess, laughed a ton, watched Popeye cartoons together. We’d go to the shore on the weekends, where he would take a bar of soap into the ocean to wash up. Yeah, that was the unsocialized part of him.

We were always just a bit scared of Uncle Anthony. It wasn’t just his appearance. He was so hotheaded. My dad said being in the war made him a bit crazy. I still have an image of him running around the yard chasing me with a big yard rake because I said motherfucker.

When I was thirteen, Uncle Anthony came to my holy confirmation, and it was the cleanest we ever saw him. He had slicked his hair back with byrlecreem and combed it back. He had a new lavender plaid shirt tucked into his pants. The black Ace comb tucked in his shirt pocket. He put his false teeth in. We took pictures.

And that was the last we saw of him for awhile. We were no longer kids who needed babysitting. We grew up, got busy. My parents split. No more summers at the shore.

Fourteen years later, my dad died. And I wanted to get back in touch with Uncle Anthony. He was like the next closest thing to my dad. So I called a distant cousin, who knew where Uncle Anthony was. I found out he was still living alone in the NJ suburbs. He hadn’t ever married, no kids, no job – he was living solely off Veteran’s disability.

I called him up, and he met us at Freehold racetrack where we were scattering my dad’s ashes. He was gentler – no more anger. Same homeless look though. It was good to see him, and connect with him as an adult.

I promised I’d come again.

About 5 years later, I travelled again from LA to NJ and visited his place for the first time. I was struck by how lonely his place felt. It was like a tribute to loneliness. Empty place, except a couch and a folding table nearby with some clipped coupons and a shop list, that just read: milk, bologna, bread.

Most striking was that the walls were completely bare except he put up magazine clippings of babies and kids happy and smiling all over one wall. It made me so sad. I interviewed him: “Why didn’t you ever marry?” “Never had money, couldn’t support a wife or family.” “Are you happy here?” “I like it here. There are no crowds.” Which is hysterical because the place is desolate, and he says he likes that there are no crowds.

I promised to visit again.

The next year, I went to see him again. This time, the place was even more bare but he had added a couple things. He now had a little doll with a washcloth over it, like a blanket. And another the exact same on the floor near his bed. And a standing fan in front of the taped magazine clippings on the wall, and he’d turn it on and watch the them flap in the breeze. He said, “They like that.” I kept thinking has he really gone crazy now? Are people going to think he’s a pedophile? Which was heartbreaking to me that he never got to nurture a family. Because he was always so great with kids and really good to us. He’s just been on his own. Not loved, not touched, not talked to.

I promised to visit again.

The next year on Christmas, I made him a pan of lasagna and wrapped a gift – a framed pic of him and me from my last visit. He answered the door in Longjohns and a winter coat. Crazy as ever hair. I tried to give him the picture but he refused. Maybe that was too much reality? He had a new pic up of Donald Trump’s baby with The Donald’s hair photoshopped on him. He’d take out his black Ace comb and do the combover. He’d sing little lessons: “One, two, buckle your shoe. You got no money, then ya got no honey.”

I remember he turned and looked at me at one point during this and in a different tone of voice said, “I know what I’m doing.”

It was a total lucid moment. This is how he managed his loneliness.

And I promised to visit again.

[VIDEO] Want to instantly change how you’re feeling?

I’m sitting in my pj’s next to the lighted Christmas tree feeling so grateful to be blogging today.

2014 has been an incredibly challenging year. Was it a tough one for you too?

It took all the strength and love I have in me.

You may have noticed that blogging took a back seat. Priorities shifted. I focused on building my health, loving my new family, and loving on my clients.

And there were plenty of silver linings too.

While taking refuge in my creativity, I flourished. I performed my first story-telling gig, gave birth to a solo show, a TV concept, and a filmmaking branch of CMP.

Which brings me to today, and something I’ve created just for YOU.

Filmmaking is a huge passion of mine, and I recently did a photo/video shoot for a woman, Jolene, who’s former Co-Founder of Free the Slaves and has worked with slavery survivors and regular everyday people to help bring about major change in their lives.

We made a little film for you, centered around a simple question that can change your life.

I hope this video helps the next time you’re in a stressful or challenging situation and unsure of what to do next.

This isn’t just a wishy washy concept. It’s provided resurrection agains all the odds.

Watch this video below…

And ask yourself this simple question the next time you’re faced with a difficult situation.

I’ve tried it. It works.

If a slavery survivor can change her life with this simple question, then so can you.

Here’s to a brilliant and beautiful 2015!

Lots of love,

Christa

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